Grandparent Time Matters

What if grandparenting is less about quick hugs and holiday photos and more about steady presence, honest love, and real support? We dive into the heart of what grandchildren truly remember—time spent, lessons modeled, and the comfort of knowing someone always shows up. Moving beyond clichés, we unpack why “spoil and send back” sells everyone short, and how grandparents can embrace a meaningful role that strengthens kids and relieves parents.

We start by confronting a hard truth: many parenting habits are inherited, for better or worse. By owning past mistakes and modeling growth, grandparents can break unhelpful cycles and build trust across generations. From there, we offer five practical guidelines that turn intention into action: hands-on caregiving for the little years; being a calm, listening ear as kids grow; speaking truth with clarity and compassion; showing unconditional love even when boundaries are tested; and showing up—consistently—for practices, lessons, and everyday moments that stitch a family together.

These choices cost time, not money. Presence beats presents, and small rituals—calls after school, pushing a swing, cheering from the bleachers—become the memories that define a childhood. We also celebrate Grandparents’ Day as a reminder, not a substitute, for year-round involvement. By embracing a co-supporter role rather than a bystander one, grandparents offer stability, perspective, and joy that children carry for life.

If this sparks a rethink of your role, we’d love to hear your story. Subscribe for more thoughtful takes, share this episode with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a review telling us the one moment with a grandparent you’ll never forget.

Chapters

• 0:03 Welcome And Disclaimer
• 0:46 Do Grandparents Have Duties
• 2:12 Uncommitted Grandparenting Critiqued
• 3:20 Owning Past Parenting Mistakes
• 4:31 Why Shared Responsibility Matters
• 5:15 Five Practical Grandparent Guidelines
• 7:36 Time Over Gifts And Lasting Memories
• 9:51 Grandparents’ Day And Lifelong Roles
• 11:46 About The Show And How To Engage

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

The views and opinions expressed on this podcast or website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of a Queen's opinion. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, or anyone or anything?

SPEAKER_01: 0:32

Welcome to a Queen's Opinion. My name is my opinion and your listening ears. Do grandparents have a duty regarding their grandchildren? Do grandparents have any responsibility for the care of their grandchildren? Some people say no or might say, I raise my children. I was an example to my children on how to raise children, and that's the extent of their duty to their grandchildren. These uncommitted grandparents only see their grandchildren for a short period of time. For example, their child stopped by the house to pick up something, and they happen to have the grandchildren with them. And this is considered a visit with the grandparents. The grandparents are fine with this time with their grandchildren because they have seen them and hugged them and all seems well. These uncommitted grandparents don't want any alone time with their grandchildren. Just a hey and buy moment meets their needs. They get enough time to snap a picture with their grandkids so they can share it with their friends, but they don't want to take on any responsibility for their grandchildren, not even preparing a snack or meal. I agree with this idea to some degree. Parents are an example to their own children about how to raise children. We teach our children the good things and the bad things, whether we intend to teach them bad parenting or not. They pick up on the behavior that was in their environment. The behaviors and environment we expose our children to will impact the grandchildren. If their parents were exposed to poor parenting behavior and have carried that over to their parenting skills, it is only right for the grandparents to tell the parents this was a mistake and take responsibility for decisions made in their childhood. Grandparents need to let their children know that they have changed and don't want to make the same mistakes with their grandchildren. That said, however, I don't agree that grandparents should not have any responsibility in raising the grandchildren, though. They definitely need some responsibility for their grandchildren. Grandparents get a second opportunity to correct the poor behavior that they may have displayed with their own children. They get to correct it with their grandchildren. It allows them to show their own children how they have grown as adults and acknowledge any mistakes that may have been made. But the only way this can be accomplished is if grandparents spend significant time with their grandchildren. It's never too late to teach an old dog new tricks, generally speaking. As we all know, times have changed, and raising children is quite different from what people over the age of 40 already know. But we as grandparents can still take the time to show our children through our grandchildren that we have grown and evolved. Most grandparents that I know say, stick to the plan. I'll spend a few good times with my grandchildren, a day, weekend, or holiday, but send them back to their parents. I am here to treat my grandchildren to a little fun, but I am not trying to teach them any lessons. That's on their parents. If this is what most grandparents truly think, then what should their responsibilities be? Well, there are no national guidelines. But here is my take on the question. One, be a caregiver for the little ones. Changing diapers, washing clothes, feeding, night shift caregiving, babysitting. Whatever the baby needs at this age, we should be there to support them and their parents. Two, be a listening ear for grandkids, a person of reason and direction. Kids need someone to listen to them and feel the concerns they have about what is going on in their life. It may sound trivial to you, but it is important from their viewpoint. We should offer them advice and direction on how to manage the crisis and provide opportunities for them to figure it out themselves. Three, be a person who speaks truth. When the child has made a poor decision, we need to be honest with them and explain why this is not the way to deal with the problem. Be honest. Show them how they went wrong in the situation and how they can turn it around and get back on the right track. Remind them that telling the truth will set them free and they won't have to carry the lie. Four, be a person who provides unconditional love regardless of the situation or behavior. Tell them you love them every opportunity you get, even when they do something you may not approve of in their lives. We should be there to dry the tears and help them turn it around. Let them know that no matter what, you will love them through the confusion, laughter, joy, and pain. We are family in life and death. Five, be a person of support in all matters. Show them you support their dreams. Show up for football games, dance lessons, swim lessons, piano lessons, art class, basketball, whatever event they need you and want you to attend. We should show up no matter the day or time. Grandchildren first. If we follow these grandparent guidelines, we are also supporting our children by taking these five simple steps. Following the guidelines regarding our grandchildren shows our children that we are invested in their families' lives. These things cost you no financial support. The only thing it costs you is time. We as grandparents should be giving our time to our grandkids. Spending time with the grandkids is so important. We don't want to make the same mistakes again with these little ones that we undoubtedly made with our own children. Not to scare anyone, but as we get older, our days become more valuable. Our time is valuable, so we should cherish our time with the people we love in our lives. Your grandchildren will remember you and the time you spent with them. Yes, they may remember those cute little gifts you bought for them during birthdays and Christmases, but what they will remember most of all is if you spent time with them. Did you invest in their life? They're going to remember if you bothered to come to their practices, special events. Did you call to check on them just to see what kind of day they had? They're going to remember if you took time to play with them. Did grandma and papa have any one-on-one time with them? Did we play outside? Did they push me on the swing? Did they take me out to restaurants or the mall? Did they come over to my house and spend time with me? These are the things grandchildren will remember forever. Don't you want to be in the memories of your grandchildren? If you are not putting the time in with these grandbabies, this episode is a wake-up call. Wake up and call your grandchildren, regardless of their age. Tell them how much you love them, miss them, and can't wait to see them again. As a grandparent myself, I want to be there for all the first experiences in their little lives. The first bath, first birthday, first haircut, first swimming lesson, first day of school, first boyfriend, first heartbreak, first day of college, first degree, first job, first car, first house, and any and everything for my grandbabies. Being a grandparent is so important that the United States government made a national holiday just for us. An important holiday on September the 13th, our official grandparents' day in the country. We should be taking out our grandkids for the day and allowing them to see, feel, and hear our love that we give them every day of their lives all year long. This day is also a time our children give us our flowers, the forget me not flowers, which reminds the children and the grandchildren to never forget their parents or grandparents. Grandparents will live forever in their hearts and minds. Do grandparents have a duty regarding the grandchildren? Yes. We are the co-parents, godparents, grandparents, best friends, and so much more. We should be whatever is needed in our grandchildren's lives. A Queen's Opinion is a podcast that allows people, especially women, to think out loud about life situations and seek an opinion without being judged. This podcast is supposed to lift you up, encourage you to be the best person you can be, to inspire you to step out of your comfort zone and into your queen zone. I didn't say my opinion will solve your problems. I am not saying that I am right. But what I am saying is I'm going to give you another view of the situation from a distance. No more thinking or questioning a situation by yourself. Ask the queen. Go to our website, www.aqueensopinion.com. And click on get in touch to leave your feedback. Leave a question for the queen. Don't forget to like us wherever you get your podcast. Thank you for taking time out of your day. I hope you join me for my next episode. Until then,