A Queen's Opinion Podcast
A Queen’s Opinion is a podcast that allows people, especially women, to think aloud about life situations and seek an opinion without being judged. No more thinking about or questioning a situation by yourself. Ask the Queen.
A Queen's Opinion Podcast
The Relationship Formula No One Taught You
Ever wondered what women truly want in relationships? The answer might be simpler than you think. Drawing from conversations with women across different walks of life, this episode reveals the three foundations that support every successful romantic partnership: compatibility, communication, and life goals.
The views and opinions expressed on this podcast or website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of A Queen's Opinion. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.
Speaker 2:Welcome to a Queen's Opinion. My name is Queen, my voice, my opinion and your listening ears. This episode we are talking about relationship needs. What does a woman want and need in a relationship? In preparing for this episode, I conducted a little survey with the women that I see and talk to on a regular basis in my everyday life. On a regular basis in my everyday life, I ask them what kind of man they are looking for in a relationship and what they need in said relationship. Now, before we break down the conclusions I gained from this small sample size survey, we need to understand what a relationship basically is.
Speaker 2:A relationship is defined as the way in which two or more concepts, objects or people are connected, or the state of being connected Among people. Four types of relationships are usually family relationships, friendships relationships are usually family relationships, friendships, acquaintances and romantic connections. Today's topic is going to talk more about the romantic relationships, since this is what I surveyed my girlfriends about. In romantic relationships, there are at least three areas that are critical in building that romantic foundation. These include one compatibility, both physical and emotional. Two, communication, both verbal and non-verbal, and three life goals faith, family and finances. Does someone need to address all three areas of a romantic relationship to survive. Yes, these areas are critical to having longevity in a relationship and removing any issues that might jeopardize the foundation of the relationship. The loss or lack of one of the relationship, a loss or lack of one of the previously mentioned areas creates a shaky foundation and a rough relationship at all levels. Sure, we can put a band-aid on the relationship for a few days, weeks and even years, but if issues in any area are not sorted out and dealt with as soon as possible, then someone in the relationship is not being 100% true and it cannot be truly successful. Now, in any relationship there will be highs and lows across time, but my argument here is focusing specifically on building the romantic relationship. In the beginning of a long-term relationship, building the foundation of long-lasting romance is critical. So let's break down these three areas of interest so that we can have a stronger understanding of why they are so necessary to address and be aligned in.
Speaker 2:Number one compatibility, both physically and emotionally. I believe within 10 to 15 minutes of meeting a potential partner, you know a couple of things up front, without many words being spoken. As a woman, you know if you want to share a bed with this man or not. Sometimes this could lead to a one-night stand or not. For men, they might see every woman as a one-night stand, regardless of looks. Or maybe they are pickier and have a specific goal in mind for a woman. Nonetheless, both men and women immediately notice and understand their initial attractions to someone else. If you are lucky, you have gotten past this initial state and through the conversation you realize that, hey, this might be a good guy or girl. They have passed the compatibility for physical desires or needs and as the conversation continues, then you begin to hone in on the words they are saying and how it aligns with how you feel emotionally about that topic of discussion. You begin to say to yourself wow, we have so many things in common If all goes well. During this conversation, one of you are going to ask would you like to hang out again sometimes and you will set up another date.
Speaker 2:Number two communication, both verbal and non-verbal. You have been seeing this person now for several weeks and things are going great. You have built a stronger compatibility foundation. You have grown stronger as a couple in your physical and emotional connections. At this stage now you are focusing more on the verbal and nonverbal communication skills, both of you begin to listen more to each other. Many times people say I hear you, and this is true. They do hear our tone, which expresses a feeling. However, we may lack listening to the words coming out the other person's mouth. Listening to the words coming out the other person's mouth. Listening is key because if you are listening to the words that person has chosen, it gives insight into their personality and sets up an expectation of what type of healthy relationship you may have moving forward. You may have moving forward. Sometimes you may have disagreements about everyday life issues. For example, he comes over after work with the expectation you will have dinner waiting for him. How he wants you to change your dress attire. How he doesn't like you talking to other men outside his presence. How controlling he is about who and what you discuss with your family or friends. The look he gives you when he is displeased with something you said or did can all be disagreements. Disagreements are going to happen, but it is how you handle the disagreement that matters. You see, communication is key to any type of relationship.
Speaker 2:I believe that, as a woman, I should be able to communicate my wants and needs to anybody in my life, Whenever I feel like a man is trying to tell me what I can say or do, then he is not the man for me. Fellas, the same goes for you. Don't let a woman dictate aspects of your life. Speak your needs to her and see if she can meet them or not. If I communicate something to a man and he is displeased, then he should be able to communicate to me what I am doing or saying that is upsetting to him. We both need to be able to feel how we feel and communicate our dislikes appropriately and respectfully.
Speaker 2:I am not saying a woman is supposed to accept and do what a man wants them to do, nor that a man should just do the same for a woman. I am saying that an adult should respect the other person's opinion and feelings on whatever the topic is. It is not about who is right in this situation, but rather about what is the best solution to the problem at hand. You see, when you allow a woman to be just that a woman and respect her in all ways, then you men will end up with a strong woman by your side. You men will end up with a strong woman by your side. You should never try to dim your light as a woman to make a man feel happy. Men, you should not want a woman who is not confident in herself. We were made to lift each other up and support each other, which means we don't think alike on everything. If we both communicate how we feel or see a situation, then the next step is to accept the correct solution to the conflict.
Speaker 2:If you are unable to communicate your feelings or opinions, then this is not the right relationship for you. There's an old saying, or I should say there's an old Christian hymn that says this little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. You should never change the person you are to please someone else. Let your light shine. You are given a light that reflects your personality, your spirit and your heart of love. So shine, baby shine.
Speaker 2:Number three life goals faith, family and finances. If you can't get the first two areas of your relationship correct, then you have an extremely small chance of a long-term relationship. As it relates to area number three life goals regarding faith, family and finances, most marriages or relationships break up because one of these three issues start out as a minor issue and continues to grow. Sometimes, faith, family and finances are the cornerstones of a romantic relationship. If you are not compatible within these three subcategories of life goals, then you are asking for issues long-term in your relationship. If you are unable to communicate your expectations regarding these three categories, your relationship will, unsurprisingly, be short-term or long-term, with a bunch of headaches throughout the years. People wonder how you can stay married to someone for 30, 40, 50, 60 plus years. It's because they got the formula right. They got their compatibility right, they were able to communicate with each other properly and, finally, they had the same life goals and expectations. As it relates to these life goals faith, family and finances I told my children if your life goals with your partner are not right up front, don't waste your time on moving forward.
Speaker 2:Find the right man or woman for yourself. No one can tell you what's right for you in your relationship Not your mother, not your father, your siblings or anybody else. Only you know what is acceptable to you. Only you know what is acceptable to you and what you will allow the other person to do or say to you in your relationship. You and your partner don't have compatibility or unable to communicate regarding your faith before children are brought into your lives, then you just created a problem in the relationship. It's okay to have different religious backgrounds, but let's be clear you must decide how you are going to guide your children in finding their path to the Most High King. If one is Jewish in the relationship and the other Muslim, then how would the children be raised? If one in the relationship is an atheist and the other a Christian, how will the children be raised?
Speaker 2:I've heard people say we're not going to teach our children about any religion. We're going to allow them to make their own decisions. I'm not sure if I agree with that or not. If we don't introduce the children to whatever religion we are practicing, then you are leaving it up to the world to teach them something that may be incorrect. What am I trying to say here is to make sure you have worked these things out before you bring children into the world. You are blessed as a woman and a man to be able to guide and parent a human.
Speaker 2:Next, once you have created this family, nothing should come between the family. We should teach our children that family mothers, fathers, siblings that's the core family, that's the foundation family All we have is each other. We need to work together to guide each other and never let each other fall. We need to be an example to each other woman to woman, man to man, parents to children, women to men, men to women to children, women to men, men to women. We need to work together. As I've said many times in other episodes, a child only knows what we introduce them to, so it is important that you and your partner are on one accord and compatible with our partner as it relates to rearing family. Do we agree on the fact that, as a parent, it is our responsibility to provide the child with housing and clothing and food, etc. There are so many things that we should be doing as parents, and so picking your partner is key to having a strong family.
Speaker 2:Finally, finances this area has broken up so many couples, marriages and romantic relationships. Over the years, I've met men who felt like the man is the head of the house because they make the most money. Wow, this is crazy to me. This is crazy to me because finances belong to the family. Especially if you're married, it's no longer her money or his money. It's the family money. We use the family finances to support the family as it relates to providing housing, food, clothing and other family needs. I know both married and long-term couples who keep their money separately. She has a checking account, he has a checking account and the family has a shared checking account. This is crazy to me. We choose each other to become a family.
Speaker 2:You're either in a marriage or long-term relationship as a family or not. When it comes to finances, sometimes people want to live the single life with the mindset of I can do what I want to with my money that I earned. Then you have some women that say, oh no, my last relationship. He took everything from me and I am not going to put myself in that situation again. You have men who say she robbed me blind and I am not doing that again. I get it, I understand and I am sure, if I were to ask you a couple of questions about that relationship, it is going to fall into one of the three categories Poor compatibility, poor communication, poor life goals. You really didn't understand the assignment. Life goals are so vital. Yes, a long-term relationship or marriage cannot survive without compatibility, communication and those three life goals of faith, family and finance keep you from meeting the love of your life. Don't allow that person who hurt you to control your future relationships. Trust we haven't even touched that one yet, but I would say it is wrapped up in all three categories we've discussed today. By the time you get to the third category of life goals, you should have already built deep trust with someone.
Speaker 2:At the beginning of the episode, I asked the question what does a woman want and need in a relationship? Let me sum it up for you the best I can. We want someone that is respectful of people, especially women, as your partner, financially responsible, with money, understanding in, listening and communicating. Ambition, driven to be the best person and partner, loyal to their partner and the relationship. Family oriented, in the sense that nothing or no one will come between them. And the relationship Family oriented, in the sense that nothing or no one will come between them and the family. What does a woman want and need in a relationship? It's so simple and easy Endless, unconditional love.
Speaker 2:A Queen's Opinion is a podcast that allows people, especially women, to think out loud about life situations and seek an opinion without being judged. This podcast is supposed to lift you up, encourage you to be the best person you can be, to inspire you to step out of your comfort zone and into your queen zone. I didn't say my opinion will solve your problems. I am not saying that I am right, but what I am saying is I'm going to give you another view of the situation from a distance. No more thinking or questioning a situation by yourself. Ask the queen. Go to our website, wwwaquingsopinioncom and click on. Get in touch to leave your feedback or leave a question for the queen. Don't forget to like us wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you for taking time out of your day. I hope you join me for our next episode. Until then, goodbye.