A Queen's Opinion Podcast
A Queen’s Opinion is a podcast that allows people, especially women, to think aloud about life situations and seek an opinion without being judged. No more thinking about or questioning a situation by yourself. Ask the Queen.
A Queen's Opinion Podcast
Family, Friends and Money
Join me in this candid episode where I offer practical tips for maintaining your financial well-being while still being a supportive friend or family member. Whether you’ve been caught in the cycle of lending money or you’re curious about how to approach a loved one who’s always in need, this episode is a must-listen. We’ll discuss the importance of offering advice with empathy, understanding emotional triggers, and finding that delicate balance between helping and enabling. Tune in for an eye-opening conversation that aims to strengthen your relationships and provide actionable solutions to common financial challenges.
the views and opinions expressed on this podcast or website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of a queen's opinion. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.
Speaker 2:Welcome to a Queen's Opinion. My name is Queen, my voice, my opinion and your listening ears. Hello everyone. I want to start off by saying how sorry I am for missing our episodes during August Summertime. Fun and vacation travel just took over the month. Fun and vacation travel just took over the month, but everyone here at A Queen's Opinion is back from vacation and we are ready and geared up for the next few months. We are ready to offer our opinions on many great topics that we have in store for you. Thank you for staying faithful listeners of the podcast. Don't forget you can always send me your feedback about this episode or any episode. Now let's get this episode started.
Speaker 2:This episode is called Family, friends and Money. Can money ruin friend and family relationships? Family, friends and money. How does money affect these relationships? Can money ruin a friendship? Can money ruin a family? Let's explore these questions.
Speaker 2:We have friends that we truly love, just like family, and we will ride and die for them. We feel that if they are in need of anything, we are going to be there to support them any way that we can. So when they call us and need help with car repairs or car payments, we help the sister out. Of course she says I'll pay you back as soon as I can. You don't question it, because she is your friend and she keeps her word. Mm-hmm. Well, she needs you again.
Speaker 2:Three months later she calls you up, she tells you what her dilemma is and of course, just like a good friend, you help her out, you make sure that she gets what she needs to make it through and once again she says I'll hit you up as soon as I can. Now she always pays the money back, as she said she would. The relationship is good, no problems. Then here we go again. This time she needs a little help with the rent. So now you begin to ask a couple of questions of your friend. What's going on with your finances? Do you need me to help you with a budget or recommend a financial planner?
Speaker 2:What can we do to make sure that you can manage all your finances. Make a few suggestions or give a little advice to your friend, saying that maybe she should cut some things back. Well, this didn't go as planned. She is offended and says either you're going to help her or you're not. She doesn't need you getting all up in her business. She doesn't need you getting all up in her business. You just freeze and think to yourself I wouldn't be in your business if you didn't ask for help. You replied I am trying to be that good friend and offer good advice to fix the issue long term. She did not see it in that way.
Speaker 2:These situations always make me want to ask people why do you get mad when your friend tries to offer you advice? Now, the thing about advice is just like the queen's opinion Everyone has an opinion, Everyone has advice, and that doesn't mean you have to take the advice. When I am given advice or opinions, I am going to listen to what the person has to say. I'm going to determine if the advice fits my situation and make a determination if that's something I want to do. If I choose to take the advice or opinion, I will look further into the information or just pass on it all together. But there's no need in getting mad when you ask for help from a friend and they offer advice. It's not fair to your relationship, it's not fair to your friend who is trying to be helpful. It's not fair to your friend who is trying to be helpful. It's okay if you need a little help every now and then, but when you have a repeated pattern every other month, Then it calls into question how you are handling your money.
Speaker 2:This repeating pattern calls into question many money situations, Like do you have a man in your life? Is he aware of your needs? Is he trying to help you? Is he staying with you? If yes, what is he bringing to the table besides running up bills? What is he doing to help you and your family? You see, we women sometimes fall head over heels in love or strong light with our boo thing and we forget that old saying from grandma. My grandma taught me that you must pay where you lay. I'll let that sink in for some of you listeners. So what is the man bringing to the table to assist you? Because he should have been the first person you called to seek assistance If he was unable to help you in your time of need baby.
Speaker 2:We need to think about leveling up. We need to think about how you and he can create a plan together so that his bills get paid, your bills get paid and there isn't a need to borrow or ask for help from your friends so often because y'all got it covered Now. Don't get me wrong. Everybody, we all, will run into a need situation and there's nothing wrong with asking for help.
Speaker 2:The whole purpose of this episode is to tell you don't create a pattern of financial need all the time and don't put yourself in a situation you can't manage alone. If you can't pay your bills and support yourself and your family, you have your priorities all mixed up. Think about what is going awry in your financial life that keeps happening. Don't let money ruin a good friendship. Next family, family, family, Mm-hmm. They say you can't choose the family you're born into. That's so true. That's so true. But what I can choose to do is not give you my money.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, how many of us have those family members who borrow money and never pay it back. Did you hear me? Never pay it back? We all have family members who borrow money for so many different things and reasons every week, every month, every quarter and year, and they feel family is supposed to give them financial support. Every time they ask, they tell us I will pay the money back in two weeks, by the end of the month or the end of the quarter. We give them that stern talk about getting financial advice from a professional, but that information goes on deaf ears, hence why they keep coming back instead of taking the advice. We hear the same story that they are a little short this month because they didn't expect the light bill to be so high, so they had to take from Peter to pay Paul. Now, some of you may not understand that analogy, but it basically means you took money from one bill to pay another bill. The family member tells you they are helping another family member who didn't pay them back in time to pay their bills. So they're a little short and need a little help.
Speaker 2:The cycle is real. What should you do? Do we continue to allow those family members to borrow money from us? Do we even ask them to pay it back, Because we know the chances are slim of getting the money returned? If they do repay the money, well, it's just a temporary repayment, because they will be back next month to borrow the money again for a different bill. Grandma, mama, auntie and uncle, listen carefully. We all have to stop allowing these grown folks your children to borrow money, these grown folks your children to borrow money repetitively from us. You see, they know if you are short on your bills, that someone is going to bail them out and they won't have to worry about repayment. The cycle is real. What do we do? Do we allow grandma, mama, auntie and uncle to fall into financial hardships?
Speaker 2:We love them and don't want to see them in that type of situation. This is going to sound awful to many people, but yes, we must allow them to fall softly. Well, what does that mean? Falling softly, that means, if they are just one month behind on the bill, let it ride one month behind. We need to teach that chronic borrowing family member a lesson. Well, what's the lesson? Borrowing family member a lesson? Well, what's the lesson, queen? Well, they need to understand that paying the money back to grandma, mama, auntie and uncle is critical, but family borrowers are now impacting the livelihood of their other family members. We should never put our family in jeopardy like that.
Speaker 2:Here is what I say about family members and money. When you give, the money is gone. Give it in love and understanding that getting it back is not an option. You're not getting the money back boo, wake up. You're not getting the money back, boo, wake up. You're not getting the money back, boo. Count it all as love and joy that you are able to help. I always say expect nothing from no one. Don't go in with expectations. That's one of the Queen's guidelines Expecting nothing from no one. So when you give it, you know you've given it in love and don't expect it back. If you need it back or you want it back, then don't give it, because you're not going to get it back. It's a gift.
Speaker 2:What I have a problem with is family members that I give money to on a bi-monthly situation basis, just like the friends. What's going on with your finances? What's going on that you are always in need of my money? Elders of the family, if your sons or daughters cannot support their lifestyle, then you don't need to support it either. Sometimes, tough love is required. We need to let them fall so that they can learn how to get up. Can money ruin friend and family relationships? Yes, we need to practice tough love, strong listening skills and resolutions so we can root out the problem rather than giving money out of our pockets every single time. Can money ruin friend and family relationships?
Speaker 3:Yes, here at A Queen's Opinion. We're always asking our listeners to contact us by going to our website, wwwaqueen'sopinioncom and clicking on Get In Touch to leave your feedback or leave a question for the Queen. We realized that many of you are on the go and listen to podcasts through your phones or in the car, so we wanted to make contacting the Queen easier. You can now send a text. Yes, you can text the show right from your phone. Try it right now, today. Send your feedback about this episode or any episode that you have listened to over the months. We can't wait to hear back from you.
Speaker 2:A Queen's Opinion is a podcast that allows people, especially women, to think out loud about life situations and seek an opinion without being judged. This podcast is supposed to lift you up, encourage you to be the best person you can be, to inspire you to step out of your comfort zone and into your queen zone. I didn't say my opinion will solve your problems. I am not saying that I am right, but what I am saying is I'm going to give you another view of the situation from a distance. No more thinking or questioning a situation by yourself. Ask the Queen. Go to our website, wwwaquingsopinioncom and click on Get In Touch to leave your feedback or leave a question for the Queen. Don't forget to like us wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you for taking time out of your day. I hope you join me for our next episode. Until then, goodbye.